Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
PANTIES FOUND
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
