First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
