nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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