i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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