I swear she didn't look like that last week.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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