Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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