at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
