I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
