i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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