You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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