Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
