we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
