I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
