Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
