my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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