Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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