Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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