Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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