I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
