just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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