I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
