is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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