dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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