She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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