Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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