So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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