Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
