Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
