next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
