yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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