I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
