So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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