Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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