Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
