a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh god it's open bar.
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