we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
