you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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