I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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