Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
