dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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