The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He? As in you personified your dick?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
