She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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