They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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