It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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