there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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