She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
