It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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