I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
