Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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