I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i came on her dog
I just found puke in my bra..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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