Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize