The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Mom said you looked used
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
