I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
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I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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