please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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