better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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