If i come over, it means nothing
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize