brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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