you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
