Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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