You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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