You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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