great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
