if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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