Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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