well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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