a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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