Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
